Reinvention and My Cure for the Darkness

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I had a moment of dark clouds over the weekend. I am more of an Anxiety Girl when I am out of balance then a Depression Girl, so it scared me. But I figured that I had surgery a week before and a month of being uncomfortable, so it was probably a normal phenomenon happening during healing. Still, I didn’t like it as I’m used to feeling excited about life in general. (I love those shiny things).

And that was the key and the solution for breaking out of it.

Instead of looking ahead as I reinvented myself, I was only looking backward to what wasn’t working.

Of course I would feel down. I needed to look FORWARD. Of course what didn’t work wouldn’t excite me, it would cause me dread and a whole bunch of nasty feelings. That stuff is too heavy.

I headed over to PINTEREST, which is a healthy and acceptable addiction for creative people to stare at the screen for hours. There I could explore new interests, things, and passions by scrolling and searching, and no one would get hurt.

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When we reinvent ourselves in the new chapter of our lives, which many of us are doing right now, we need to dive in and EXPERIMENT. As I write this, I am laughing. I am watching Emma Lou, my basset hound companion, sniff through the kids’ toy bins for something interesting to play with. Sometimes it is a bouncey ball dragged out, or a stuffy, or doll clothing. She’s got it right. She plays, tries things out, and moves towards what she is excited about. (She also incorrectly thinks all the kids’ toys are hers too, since the bins are right there on the floor and she is one of the kids, but that’s another entertaining blog post.) She shows that we don’t need to make it that complicated.

Back to Pinterest..I created my Pinterest board with breadcrumbs to my new world. I’ve been into Anime lately and someone wrote a great post about the top Twenty Anime Shows You Need To Watch (or something like that), and I found a few shows that got me interested I want to see. I bravely ventured out of Pinterest into the Internet world to Youtube and I looked into that new Coldplay song I heard at the Superbowl Halftime Show that got me dancing. I will need that later when I am back on my feet and dancing again. I checked out Skillshare with a class on animating gifs that got my blood excited and will lead me to my next project. THIS was the right direction. I was like Emma Lou exploring the web like those toy baskets. I was not thinking about the heavy s*(t that weighed me down last year and I left behind. Today I might not figure out exactly where I was going but I was having fun with the next steps and that’s what is all about. Through my playing great things would emerge, much like my School and the deck I had created. And as a creative person, part of my process is experimenting. 

So what about you? How are you playing and experimenting into your new chapter?



Categories: being a sensitive artist, help I'm sensitive books | Leave a comment

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