“New age speak” always makes me laugh. You express your own heartache and what is troubling you in your life, and someone comes along and tells you how in some way, your angst is not legitimate and how you need to reframe that language to something positive and everything will magically disappear. This technique has gotten worse when the Secret book hit the stands and we were all afraid to express any negative thought for fear a bus would fall on our heads. My favorite advice that was given by a pot-toking Sedona resident years ago, was when I mentioned at the time we were having difficult financial issues.
“It’s either Fear or Love,” he told me, which, I guess, if I sat down and really philosophized, has merit, but in this situation the words went flying over my head like a cloud. This gave me nothing, and I mean, nothing to work with. No solutions, no tools, no actions to improve my situation.
Earlier versions of this technique are telling you that you should be grateful for what you have, and surely, someone is worst off then you. This is an excellent technique proven to give you guilt and shame just for having the nerve to be alive.
What can help is using a little humor. I suggest we reframe those pesky negative emotions with some “creative” positive reframing.
Instead of “My daughter ran off and is making porn movies and is a stripper,” you can tell yourself, “Yes, but she appears to be very comfortable with her body, which every woman aspires to be.”
Instead of “We have no money to buy food right now,” you can tell yourself, “Yes, but now I can finally learn how to make a soufflé from crackers and water, like in SABRINA.”
Instead of “I just yelled at my boss and now I will get in trouble,” you can tell yourself, “Yes, but now I don’t have to take as much blood pressure medicine because I am letting out my anger.”
Now you try. Bring some humor in for the moment to ease the stress with reframing, or maybe take a trip to Sedona and find your own advice-givers to laugh at. I know it’s lovely this time of year.
My apologies ahead of time to my non-new age speaking Sedona friends. Of course, we don’t talk like that.