My massage therapist, when I told her I see energy, asked me if I see colors. Yes, I told her, when I feel good.
When I feel really good I want to paint and draw. I visit Michael’s and buy interesting things for their possibilities. Paperclay can be puppet heads. A cardboard house, a bakery. Stories come to me easily and words fill up my books. My projects flow because I have so many ideas. This is my natural resting state. It’s very important to know this about yourself and what Feeling Good looks like.
But as a sensitive artist, I can drain easily if I am not careful. When I am drained, there are symptoms.
Last week I got drained and I didn’t plug up the hole, so I got sick with the latest headcold going around. On the healing side of the sneezes today I looked at my mood.
Empathic Drain Symptoms
- I feel like I could nap all day and still feel tired
- I don’t feel creative. That’s scary. I ALWAYS feel creative, but I just don’t have the energy for it.
- It feels like there’s screaming chatter in my head–like a radio left on. That means there is not enough of my own thoughts in there. It’s everyone else’s.
- I am responding to color but I am not seeing color.
- I get thrown off and can’t think clearly. I feel directionless and lost, when I am neither those things.
This is bad. If I was crazy wealthy I’d go to Tahiti and fix that problem with a vacation. Ah, yes, the ocean. Why did I get so drained? Big problem was there was lots of activity and I was too “out” then “in” which doesn’t work for me. If I don’t have regroup time, I’ll have problems. But we also had to deal with very, very negative Tornado People. It was like they swooped right in, took a dump on our carpet and then swooped right out for us to clean up the mess. (On a positive note, I did write about it for my new book, Your Turtle Shell, on how to deal with Tornado People.) Being such a strong empath living with a family of feelers, I felt everyone’s reactions including my own. I need to regroup and replenish or I will continue to be very un-Ronni-like and many of my fairy pictures on Facebook will turn dark and goth and folks will begin to wonder.
- Sorry, Loved Ones, I need some alone time. This is mandatory and non-negotiable. I need to just feel me so I can determine what isn’t me. I also need to give to myself, not to everyone else right now. I’m clearly empty and if I give right now it won’t be pretty what I am dealing out, kinda like crumbs on the bottom of the toaster.
- This is time for Art Porn. Yes, it’s a cheap trick but it makes me happy. I need an Art Store Visit where the owner chats life and supplies and I handle different kinds of sketch pads and drool at pens. Like I said before, I need to see possibilities.
- I need a hefty dose of music, hopefully music that inspires me to choreograph dances in my head. I need to move my body.
- I need Nature. There’s an unexpected snow outside there but it can’t stop me from shooting some pics of the cherry blossom standing right next to my window.
- This step is important. I need to follow what excites me and not explain it away. I need SANDBOX TIME to play and experiment. This is also mandatory for creative people and part of the process. I got a new S Note phone. I can draw on it which I find very exciting. It feels like a reward, which is what I am desperately needing right now.
And MOST IMPORTANTLY, I need to keep out any of that toxic energy that doesn’t belong here. I am amazed how miserable people love to spread their misery like a virus. I can’t allow that to happen again, now that I know how much it affected me. While I am refueling, I need to make some serious fences to keep that out.
What drains you and what is your Cure?
I found two resources regarding toxic energy affecting your creativity:
The People Factor: http://www.accidentalcreative.com/teams/people-factor/
Julia Cameron talks about Crazymakers in her creative bible, The Artist Way. She says “When we are involved with a crazymaker, our energy goes to our crazymaker instead of to our art.”
Until next time,
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